That one time a Christian told me reading was evil

This morning I found a bookmark about the glories of god and his angels in my library book. Presumably someone left it there to either “reach” a Satan-worshiping fantasy reader or maybe it was a religious person who just forgot there bookmark. I’ll never know! While it is very possible to read fantasy and still be religious, I am inclined to think it’s the former though and promptly told Spouse: I was just spirit bombed!

Anyways, it reminded me of a time when I was around 14 at church carrying around a book with dragons and wizards and was told by the youth pastor that it didn’t belong in church because that was a book that let Satan into the hearts of children and it was a horrible sin to read it. Not only should I stop reading it but I should ask God’s forgiveness, throw it out, and throw out any other books like it. See, this is a core memory for me. More than any other singular moment of my life it set me on my own personal road to apostasy. It opened my eyes to a number of different things.

First, that was when I realized that religious beliefs and opinions didn’t need to pay heed to reality. This dumbass knew literally nothing about the book except that it had dragons and wizards. And yet he was so certain in his belief that he told a child that what he was doing was evil. That reading was evil. That anything with magic in it was evil. Dragons were one of Satan’s creations. This guy tried to convince me that one of the things that brought me more joy than just about anything else in my life was a bad thing because his personal view of God said so.

Second, I think this was what truly opened my eyes to the fact that adults didn’t necessarily have a handle on what they were doing either. Just another scared human going through life handing out judgements and telling others they were unholy. Cloaking himself in an unearned certainty that he knows the truth when none of us actually do. This guy was so obviously wrong that I started questioning everyone’s certainties.

Third, and most importantly, that I didn’t ever want to be this guy. That, too, was an interesting signpost on my life. I don’t generally have heroes. I have a very long list of folks I’ve encountered throughout my life that I intentionally am the opposite of. This guy is at the top of the list. “I will never be like you” is something I’ve thought over and over in my life and I think it’s mostly worked out for me but...I think this is the first time I remember consciously thinking it.

Anyways, I suddenly found myself muddling over my agnosticism a bit. I was going to go into all the Christian hypocrisy smacking me in the face recently. Comparing the conviction of an adulterous lying piece of trash to Jesus. Proclaiming that marriage is sacred unless you’re banging a porn star while your third wife is nursing your newborn. Telling people who do IVF that they’re evil. I was going to compare and contrast that with some of the great stuff that I see from religion, and some of the true Christians like Mom who is constantly trying to live an actual Christian life. But, honestly, I don’t think I have the spoons today. I am wildly thankful to the hateful (and intentionally unnamed) man from my past and I think today that’s what I want to finish with - something I’ve been teaching Landon for years - that even the assholes have some stuff to teach us if you’re willing to learn.