Ain't No Money Here

but that doesn't mean it ain't fun

Dad, what’s a quick way to make $15,000?

~ Squirt (just before bedtime)

I told him to sell a kidney. I will admit I didn’t look up the going rate for a black market kidney so maybe I undersold it. Anyone know what an adolescent kidney goes for nowadays?

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Mercenary

My child, as you may have guessed already, is a bit obsessed with making money. I could try to blame Spouse’s genes and input but, honestly, this one is entirely on me. I’m cheap and also openly capitalist with my kid. I think it’s one of those life skills that school neglects.

Why’d you change jobs? ‘Cause they’re paying me quite a bit more money.

Why can’t I be an English major? ‘Cause there ain’t no money in that job.

Why can’t we get a VR headset? ‘Cause I’m broke.

Mind you I do unpack the nuance afterwards. We’ll talk about how the new job is also more interesting and challenging. We’ll talk about how taking English classes are still very valuable. We’ll talk about why the VR stuff is interesting but I am not an early adopter and why.

But there are a very many “why” questions asked by my child that have a primary answer, in some form, that boils down to one concept: “money.”

Thus, the aforementioned “how can I get $15,000 quick oh-wise-Father?”

Schemes

I think there might be some commentary about how I didn’t ask why he wanted $15,000 but instead just gave him the kidney scheme. This, too, might be why he’s fascinated with the concept of mercantilism. He wants to flip things he buys cheap at goodwill. He’s interested in writing programs to assist him in determining the proper prices of things.

Shit, I just figured it out. A couple hours earlier he was telling me about some estate that was selling a filled storage facility with nothing but really old vinyl records. And I’m pretty sure he said it was listed for $15,000. He got squirrelled by the particular values of some of the theoretical vinyl in the collection but the point was that he was pretty sure he could flip it for lots more money than 15 grand. So a couple hours later, as he’s contemplating going to bed, the question bubbled back up.

Easy Money

I did go further than the kidney scheme though. We talked about how there is not an easy way to make that kind of money fast. At least for normal people. Rich folks can make $15 grand just by watching their interest accumulate. But for normal folk…nah, it don’t work that way. So he accepted that. Or, well, he went quietly back to his book and I went quietly back to Balatro because I am closing in on Completionist++.

But then I got a new question.

Dad, have you made any money on your Substack?

~ Squirt (even closer to bedtime)

Indeed, I have not! One close friend accidentally did a paid subscription before I could comp them the paid level but, beyond that, Substack has actually cost me money at this point because I had to buy the domain name. On the accounting balance sheet I am in the red on Substack income.

Poor Squirt looked very defeated as he realized that was another scheme that wasn’t going to amount to much in the way of income.

Ain’t No Money, and That’s Okay

I would love to make money with this Substack. By all means stranger, pay me money! But, like the the about page can attest, I’m not in this to necessarily make money. Instead what I’ve been finding is that there is value to me personally to write my thoughts out into a public space. And there’s even more value in Squirt reading through these things and participating.

Some things have a value that transcend money and capitalism. That, I hope, is something that Squirt eventually discovers for himself as well. Because it’s a cold world where everything revolves around the mercenary drive to accumulate cash. One thing we haven’t talked about much is the opportunity cost inherent in scrambling for cash all the time. I actually prefer to look at it through the lens of work-life balance where it’s understood that the more time you spend making money (work) the less time you have for living. Because work isn’t living.

I would be wildly amazed, and honored, if someone actually thought my writing put something into the world that was monetarily valuable to them. It takes quite a lot for me to do a paid subscription and every month when I see the line item I have to think about it all over again. Is it still worth the money I worked hard to generate? So of course I don’t expect anyone to really be willing to spend their own money just to hear me jabber on.

But still I jabber on. I write my thoughts to quiet my own mind and get things out there for Squirt to read and think about and respond to. Unlike the idealistic “I’ll write letters for my son to read later” what I’ve found is that I get more motivation out of writing letters for my son to read right now and a little edification that random strangers on the internet can as well.

Squirt Says…

For one I wasn't asking 15 grand because I wanted some dumb random shelf of 78s. I am much more dignified than to base money on randomness. I was going to buy a collection of Beatles 78s that actually cost $ 70,000 now. Then I would sell each for 15,000 and get 125,000 in profit which I would invest in. And hopefully double that. Even though I was looking for money, I don't do it because money is all I care about. It's because money brings happiness down the line. I wouldn't feel that money until later.

Dad Responds…

As schemes go this isn’t a bad one, though I think it illustrates the idea of needing money to really make money. Like Spouse told you today:

You can make a small fortune when you start with a large fortune.

roaring twenties kid with a lemonade stand and overpriced drinks